I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
