Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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