If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
