I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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