i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
