dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize