What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
