what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
