i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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