i just sent this text using only my big toe
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
This house was built for laser tag.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
