we need to drink 2009 down the drain
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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