The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize