i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
So many bounce houses so little time
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
