I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
