bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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