I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
