i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Can I color on your dick again?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
