i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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