I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
