i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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