there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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