My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize