If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
