i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
