I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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