he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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