I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
