she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize