Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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