Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
