Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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