He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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