Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
