Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Randomize
