I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
