oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
