So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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