he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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