We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
