I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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