So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
