Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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