It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
