You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
