you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
