at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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