I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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