Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
