Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
