Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
