I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
