let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
