Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
