Duck Duck Cougar?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
handjob tips. give me some.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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