It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
