grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
My cat gives me a boner
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Randomize
