What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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