I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
