i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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