I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
