The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
