marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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