I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
