It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
