I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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