I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
