your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
