he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize