does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
